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Loving When It Hurts
What do you do when someone you love and care about very much is on a dangerous path?
How do you respond when they resist your love and attempts to help?
I have been in this situation for some time now. Like most ongoing challenges, it has morphed over and over from one thing to another. As it changes, I bob and weave to accommodate it. When there is a positive development, I’m on top of the world. I’m energized and ready to go the next round. Then when the bottom drops out, I’m tired and out of ideas. There are times when I want to give up and let them self destruct. After wallowing in that for awhile, I hear the gentle voice of Jesus reminding me that He didn’t do that to me. He is the God of hope! So I rally around the truth and compassion of Christ and start again.
In all of the things I’ve tried and feelings I’ve had during this season, God has taught me some basic timeless truths:
Pray for them. As simple as it sounds, it’s the best thing I can do. Prayer is the channel God uses to unleash His heavenly will on earth. I can’t change anyone so if I want healthy change in another person, I ask God to do it. His Spirit knows exactly what that person needs, is with them all the time, and has the power to change their heart.
Love them. This is hard! If their rejection and/or dismissal is deeply painful, the natural tendency is to either withdraw and lick my wounds, or get angry and strike back. God’s love doesn’t respond in those ways. His love is consistent. It is also wise. His love is gentle when it needs to be, yet firm when it needs to be. Loving them like Jesus does isn’t about how I feel but about what they need.
Give them back. They and their problems don’t actually belong to me. I may experience the results of their rebellion, but I can’t solve it or make them do what’s right. I have to keep opening my hands and giving them back to God. They are His responsibility! I am in their lives to pray and love, but their responses and the outcomes are God’s.
When I let Him be in charge, I can relax in His care of them and me. I can trust Him with my emotions about it and with their lives. When I choose this approach, not only does it free me to live my own life powerfully, but it gives them the opportunity to experience the same.
Comments
I have a wee bit of pneumonia - so only a short comment - loving them anyway - sooooo important to love the unlovable - and let them keep their stuff - it’s not mine - so good. Thank you. God bless you Lyn. (found you from twitter 
I heart twitter. (@Craigbelieves)
Craig, I’m sorry you are not feeling well. Thank you for taking the time to comment anyway. That means a lot! Twitter is fun - I’m glad we’re connected.
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