Blog
Words Aren’t Enough
Impossible
People who haven’t been trapped in an addiction or ingrained sin pattern do not understand its strength. Years of denial, suppression, or acting out create a dynamic that, apart from Christ, render the person powerless. They still bear personal responsibility, but that doesn’t change the fact that all their processes - mental, emotional, physical and spiritual - are badly damaged. It requires a huge spiritual transformation to change course.
You can’t just tell someone struggling in it to “stop it.” It sounds logical and rational but it isn’t for the person trapped. It makes as much sense as telling a drowning person to “stop drowning.” If they can’t swim, they can’t stop drowning. A person in addiction or sin patterns can’t think clearly, emote normally, or respond safely. They are drowning. They are gasping for air and grasping for help. Please don’t tell them to just “stop it.”
Pondering Life and Planning My Funeral
Funerals make me think. Not about my eternal destiny – that’s a done deal, but about what I’m doing that makes any difference.
Listening to Whitney Houston’s funeral service as I did things around the house, it was obvious that she was loved. Tyler Perry’s words were beautiful! Kevin Costner was surprisingly vulnerable and eloquent. BeBe Winans’ story about “crazy Whitney” was charming. People really liked her, and the service reflected that.
It caused me, again, to think about my own eventual funeral. I’m only in my 40s but so was she.
The Inside Story
A Conversation
Recently, I had a conversation with one of my kids about heart vs. behaviors. He has external incentives in place to motivate right decision making but ultimately in life, he will have to make decisions without parents or teachers. His only direct daily authority will be God. When he leaves home to be on his own, what he believes will dictate how he lives. While teaching and training him is important, I can’t make him love God. All I can do is model it, encourage it, and pray like crazy that he falls in love with God too.
The Truth
Every person has the same ultimate decision and responsibility.
Still the One
Guys
I read a lot of writing by guys – pastors, writers, ministry leaders, and leadership gurus. Their unique voices make them interesting.
One thing most of them have in common, however, is referencing sports. They either refer to a recent or upcoming sporting event, or they use them as illustrations. They share their own sports experiences and often talk about how their wives cope with their sports hobby. No matter the topic, they manage to work sports into it. While those references don’t mean anything to me, I understand it’s a “guy” thing that’s important to them. I have accepted that sports is a huge part of guy thinking.
Loving When It Hurts
What do you do when someone you love and care about very much is on a dangerous path?
How do you respond when they resist your love and attempts to help?
I have been in this situation for some time now. Like most ongoing challenges, it has morphed over and over from one thing to another. As it changes, I bob and weave to accommodate it. When there is a positive development, I’m on top of the world. I’m energized and ready to go the next round. Then when the bottom drops out, I’m tired and out of ideas. There are times when I want to give up and let them self destruct. After wallowing in that for awhile, I hear the gentle voice of Jesus reminding me that He didn’t do that to me. He is the God of hope! So I rally around the truth and compassion of Christ and start again.
In all of the things I’ve tried and feelings I’ve had during this season, God has taught me some basic timeless truths:
Love is Inclusive
Valentine’s Day. Ah, the forced expression of love. If it’s on the calendar, we’d better do it.
Does that sound cynical? I’m sorry. I don’t mean it to, it’s just that I’ve seen too many people hurt over the years by holidays that exclude them. We need to be grateful for what we have and celebrate special people in our lives, but I can’t help but think of those who are without. Valentine’s Day is painful for people without loved ones.
